Healing
by Cre8tvWrtr
Summary: Completely updated* What if Shawn had turned to Angela when Chet died?. *complete*
1. Devastated

**Healing: 1**

**Devastated**

Shawn stood stunned. The doctor had just delivered the news to him and his brother Jack.

Their father was dead.  The heart attack that Shawn felt partly responsible for had claimed the life of his father. 

His father; the man he wished had been there for him. The man he did not want to be like.

The only man he felt could help him to heal.

Shawn shuddered, tears welling up within him. He shook his head in an attempt to shrug

them off, but instead the tears came falling down his drawn face. His body shook with the sobs that he had suppressed for the last nineteen years. How would he go on?

Across the room Angela stood watching as Chet's doctor delivered the somber news to the boys. As Shawn began to cry, she resisted the urge to run to him and wrap him in her arms. She desperately wanted to tell him that it was okay, that she was here and would take his pain away.

Shawn had broken up with her a few months ago, and her pride would not allow her the freedom to risk reaching out to him. She was so afraid of his rejection- she could not endure that again.

As his friends gathered around Shawn to offer their support, Angela found herself among them. When her turn came to embrace him for a moment, she heard herself whisper in his ear, "I am here for you….If you need anything, just ask." It sounded so cliché to her, but what else could she say?

Shawn melted in her grasp. He still loved her, though his pride kept him from revealing his feelings. He wanted so badly to just stay there in her arms, he felt so safe. Her scent was comforting, and her skin was so soft. How could he ever have let her go? Oh, yes… he was just like his father: unable to open himself to the love he needed so much.

Angela let go of Shawn with tears in her eyes. She hoped he would respond to her offer. He nodded at her, unable to speak.


	2. The one he loves

**Healing: 2**

**The one he loves**

Later that evening, just past eight o'clock, Angela was studying in her dorm room. She had showered and changed into her button-t and shorts she wore to sleep in. She was finding it hard to concentrate on books, as her thoughts kept returning to Shawn and the pain she knew he felt. Where was he? What was he doing? Was he drowning his sorrow in a bottle again?

Her thoughts were broken by a knock at the door. Angela laid her books aside and rose to answer it. She was alone as her roommate, Topanga, was out somewhere with her fiancé, Cory. Cory was also Shawn's best friend. None of them knew where Shawn went when he eventually left the hospital. Angela allowed herself the hope that it was him at her door.

As Angela opened the door to the knock, she saw him…  Shawn was standing in her doorway, soaking wet from the rain outside. He must have been in it for a long while she mused.

She motioned for him to come in, and he did. As Angela closed the door Shawn began to cry again. Silent tears streamed down his face, mingling with the rivulet's of rain that dripped from his hair.  

"Shawn! You are soaking!" Angela exclaimed, "Let me help you..."  She helped him take his black leather jacket off, and handed him a towel.

"Are you alright?" She asked quietly, unsure of what else to say. 

Shawn's face became drawn again in an effort to stave off the next wave of sorrow that filled him. 

"I don't want… to be alone tonight." He managed to say. "I can't stand to be alone with my thoughts…." He took a deep breath and drew his shoulders up and then let them down again. "Cory- he just doesn't get it. He's trying to be helpful, but he just… he just doesn't understand….. Angela," he paused searching for words that refused to be caught, "Can I stay here tonight? I am not asking for anything more than your friendship. I feel –safe- when I am with you. Please don't turn me away….. Not tonight." Shawn's voice was so soft. He was trembling. Angela could tell he was shaken. 

"Of course!" Angela cried, feeling her own tears hot in her eyes, "We're still friends. I said I would be here, and I meant it." She reached for Shawn's hand in an effort to comfort him; he took her hand and pulled her to him. There she held him, wet clothes and all, while his body shook with his tears. She missed him so much. Guilt over enjoying his closeness overwhelmed her. She could not allow herself these feelings, not tonight.

After what seemed like an hour, though not nearly long enough, Angela gently pulled away and suggested that Shawn put on something dry. He nodded, and she handed him one of her fathers flannel shirts that she had brought to college with her. 

Her dad was the one who raised her, and when she needed comfort, she would slip one on, warmed by its softness.

"Do you want to watch T.V, or just talk…" Angela's voice trailed off into a whisper.

 "Ya, T.V. would be good." Shawn said quietly.

Angela clicked on the set and curled up, sitting on her bed. She patted the place next her, offering Shawn a seat. He accepted, and sat by her, leaning on her for support.

The mindless antics of the characters on the screen seemed a slap in the face to Shawn, but he was uneasy, and it was easier to sit watching in silence than to reveal his heart. He feared Angela had allowed him to stay purely out of pity.  Part of him felt like such a fool for coming to her.

_On his long walk after the hospital, he found himself on the bridge. Such a long way down, he had thought. __A_s the rain penetrated his clothing and the wind cut though him like a knife, the river looked like such sweet relief. He knew, though, that his demise would only cause the few people who cared about him pain, and he had caused enough pain in his short life. His thoughts turned to the one he loved more than life…the one person he had been able to share his soul with, and he wondered how he could have killed the relationship he had had with her.  "___A_ngela." He whispered. He decided to take a chance that she would still care enough to help him through the night. He remembered her words, and they called to him like a beacon of hope. Yes- he would go to her.__

Sitting on the bed next to Angela, Shawn pulled himself back to the present- he was so glad that he had come. Pity or not, she had accepted his plea for help.

Timidly, Shawn laid his head back on Angela's shoulder, and she circled her arm around him. She planted a soft kiss on his still damp head. Shawn reached up and laid his hand on her arm, and a big sigh escaped his lips. He wanted so much more than her friendship.

"Shawn…" Angela whispered.

"Yes?" he replied, turning his face toward hers.

As Angela gazed into Shawn's eyes, she felt a quiver up and down her spine that she felt so often when his eyes met hers. "I am so glad you're here…" she whispered. Taking a chance, she brought her face close to his and softly kissed him. She felt no resistance when their lips met. 

Gently, Shawn kissed her back- slowly, softly at first, and then with more hunger. How he missed her! For a moment his heart rose from the depth of pain that had engulfed him these last hours. 

Shawn reached over and clicked the T.V. remote off. He took his lips from Angela's, searching her face, hoping for some clue about her feelings for him. A slow smile curved the edges of her mouth, and her eyes glistened. Was that-love- he saw in her face?


	3. Joining of hearts

**Healing: 3**

**Joining of hearts**

Angela was overcome by Shawn's kiss. Did he really want her? As he looked into her eyes, she saw that his face had softened- he looked gentle and sweet. As she began to smile, she saw him grinning back at her. It was the first smile Angela had seen on Shawn's face in a long time. Could it be that out of his pain over his father's death, he would let her back into his heart? 

Shawn saw the look of tenderness on Angela's face and leaned into her again. He lifted his hand and placed it on her waist, slowly moving it up to her face. 

All Angela could do was melt into him. She had longed for his touch for so long. Resistance seemed futile- her mind had no say anymore as her heart ran away with her. 

Her pulse quickened as his hand softly touched her cheek. Shawn's kisses were deeper now, his breath came quicker. Angela cradled his face in her hand, and softly ran her hand through his hair. She pulled away and looked into his face again. 

"What are we doing here?" she breathed. "I need to know…. Is this just one night? Or do you really want to be with me?"

He searched her face once more. What did she want him to say? Of course, he wanted to be with her, more than anything, to be with her forever and always. He was so damn stupid to have let her go. He did not want to scare her. All he could do was to be honest with her, and hope she would forgive him. He would want the same from her- truth.

"I want to be with you, I always have. I never, ever stopped loving you. Please forgive me; I was a damn fool….a damn selfish fool."

Angela's breath caught in her throat. Was he for real, or would he just leave her again in the morning? Could she take a chance in allowing herself to love him tonight? 

Yes, yes, yes! She knew Shawn needed her tonight, or he would not have come. Heavens forgive her if she sought one nights comfort in his familiar arms. If he left her alone after tonight, she would know that she had been there for him in his time of need, his darkest hour. But, Angela desperately hoped Shawn was telling her the truth. 

She smiled and pressed her lips on his. Shawn realized Angela must still want him too. He was too afraid to take those first kisses as anything more than her comforting him, but now it began to sink in that she would not have been so forward, had she not meant it.

He honestly had not come here expecting her love, just friendship, but now, he had both. 

Shawn put his arms around Angela and pulled her to him- kissing her passionately, deeply. All of his un-shown love of the past few months flooded his heart.

Angela caressed Shawn's arms and his back. Slowly she moved her hand under the flannel to touch his skin. She had missed this. His kisses moved from her mouth, down her neck.

Shawn had forgotten his pain in the joy of Angela's embrace. He knew she loved him, he was not alone anymore.

As they slid down on her bed, he covered her body with his. Her hands moved to unbutton the few buttons that separated him from her. As Shawn's mouth searched hers, Angela wanted nothing but to be with him. She felt so right in his arms. She melted to his every touch.

Shawn's skin tingled in ecstasy. As Angela slid the shirt from his body, he realized that he was not cold anymore. Did he dare reach for her buttons? He opened his eyes and kissed the tip of her nose. 

Angela looked at Shawn and whispered, "I love you…" There were no words that ever sounded sweeter to him. Her face told him she meant it. He smiled again.

All the pain he had put her through, and she still loved him. Shawn rolled over, pulling Angela with him. She sat up and began to unbutton her nightshirt. She wanted all of him. As her shirt fell from her, he gazed on her caramel loveliness. Treasures that had been hidden from him were revealed. She lay down and kissed him again. His hands found their way to reaches he had not allowed them to go to before. He quivered in anticipation.

Lost in her passion, Angela welcomed his exploration, responding to his movements and greeting his kisses with intensity. She was his!

Shawn had waited for this moment for so long… he was glad that they had never before been so completely intimate. Their innocence made this pleasure even more intense. He slid his hands down her back and under the elastic at her waist. 

As her body became bare before him, Angela felt so pure. Innocent abandon filled them both.  Shawn rolled her over once more to cover her with himself. The pants he had removed before joining her on the bed lay crumpled on the floor, and his undergarments joined them.

Angela gasped as she felt him inside of her. His fullness sent chills through her.

Shawn had never felt so close to anyone. It was as if their two souls shared one body. Her gasp rang within him. In his moment of pain, he brought her pleasure. He came to her for comfort and found himself floating in a sea of dreams. 

His movements were gentle and soft. Angela felt her love for him sweeping through her body, vibrating though her. Their love intensified moment by moment until it was complete. 

Shockwaves roaring through him, Shawn rolled to his side, pulling her with him. He looked deeply into her eyes, and smiled. Angela returned his smile and touched his face tenderly. 

"I love you." Shawn whispered. Angela moved her lips to his once more in a tender, gentle kiss. 

"I know…" she whispered back.

They fell asleep in each others arms. Shawn had never felt so safe. 


	4. conclusion

A/N: I would like to dedicate this chapter revision to Sarah Charlotte, and to Jeffrey. Thanks guys for your honest disappointment in the let down of chapter 4, lol. 

I felt it too, but you guys inspired me to do something about it. : )

Sarah Charlotte, you are one of my most faithful reviewers (on all of my stories), and you have no idea how much that means to me- Thank you! 

Jeffrey, your honesty means the world to me- My goal in improving my writing skills is totally supported by your constructive comments. 

You Guys ROCK!

I would also like to thank everyone else who has taken the time to put in a review. Never be afraid to tell me what you really think. Tips are always welcome. That's how I improve!

Peace,

Shawna

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**Healing: 4**

**Conclusion**

Topanga opened the door to the dorm room she shared with Angela, to be greeted by the sight of her friends lying tangled together on the bed. Stifling a gasp, she slowly backed out of the room, quietly closing the door. Her heart racing from the shock, Topanga decided the best thing to do was to return to Cory's room and tell him that Shawn was safe.  Cory had been so worried about Shawn.

She knocked softly on Cory's door. He answered quickly, a smile covering his face when he saw her. 

"I know where Shawn is." Topanga said, trying to keep a straight face. 

"Where is he...? Is he okay?" Cory demanded, concern contorting his face. He'd had visions of Shawn laying in a hospital bed, or worse.

"He is fine, Cory." Topanga responded with a grin. "He is with Angela. Can I stay here tonight?"

"What do you mean, 'he's with Angela'?" Cory knew they were uncomfortable around each other. Everyone, it seemed, knew that Shawn and Angela were still in love with each other, except Shawn and Angela. 

Topanga noticed that Cory was more interested in Shawn, than in the fact that she had asked to sleep in his room. She smiled and shook her head. It endeared Cory to her that he cared so much for his friend.

"I mean, when I went to my room, I felt it was better that they did not know I was there. Cory, they were in bed- together." Topanga gave Cory another sly grin.

Corey's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Of coarse you can stay." He smiled mischievously and pulled her into the room, and into his arms.

"Don't get any ideas Cory. We are still waiting until our wedding night." Topanga looked at him sternly but playfully. 

Cory's face fell in mock disappointment. "C'mon- throw me a bone Topanga," Cory whined, "At least sleep in my bed. I mean- you've slept in Shawn's bed and you're not even dating him!"

"Cory, he was not IN his bed at the time," Topanga replied playfully, "I suppose I could sleep in your bed, this once. But-," she shook her finger in Cory's face to emphasize her point; "the underwear stays on!"

*****

The next morning, Shawn awoke before Angela. He had spent the whole night in her arms, and wished that night never had to end. Every morning should feel so right.

Gazing into Angela's face, Shawn studied her every feature. She was so perfect. He placed his hand on her cheek; the beauty of his pale skin against her dark skin overwhelmed him… They were like ebony and ivory, yin and yang, each one fitting the other, completing the other. Love for her filled him… he was not ready to awake to reality. Angela was his angel- and had saved him from himself.

Angela stirred, feeling Shawn's gaze. When she opened her eyes she saw that her night of passion had not been just a beautiful dream, and he was still here. Angela's fear that Shawn would leave before she awoke was gone. Elation filled her.

Angela smiled at her lover and clasped his hand in hers. 

"I meant what I said last night," Shawn said, "every word. I don't want us to be over. I want to be with you." He looked into her eyes, seriousness written on his face.

"I was hoping you did." Angela replied with a leisurely smile.

Shawn brought his lips to Angela's in a slow, gentle kiss. He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close, their still unclothed bodies forming to each other under the sheet. For the first time in his young life, Shawn felt he truly belonged to someone. It was more than the physical intimacy they had shared. Angela had seen him at the lowest point, and she still loved him- and accepted him. In the place he was at- that very moment- she saw his heart. He decided to take another chance, and confess his dilemma of the night before.

The feel of Shawn's bare skin on hers sent electricity and tenderness flooding through Angela's body. '_I can't believe we were apart for so long,' she thought._

Shawn broke away from her and looked at her. "I don't know what I would have done without you last night, Angela. You have no idea what I was about to do before I remembered what you offered me at the hospital," Shawn lowered his eyes from hers for a moment, and took a breath before continuing, "I need to share this with you, but you have to promise not to be mad at me."

"I promise, Shawn. Whatever is on your mind, or in your heart, its part of who you are, and I love every part of you." Angela tried to reassure him, but she felt anxious at what might be coming next.

"After the hospital I went for a walk, and I ended up on the bridge. Please don't tell Cory or Topanga- don't tell anybody," Shawn implored, and she nodded, "I just wanted to end it all. I couldn't see any reason to go on- until I thought of you. You saved me Angela," tears welled in his eyes as he spoke. He looked at her, waiting for a reply- a sign that she could understand his confession.

"Oh, Shawn," tears were stinging Angela's own eyes as she spoke, "Don't ever be afraid to come to me. If anything ever happened to you- I-," the tears fell hot down her cheeks now, and Shawn kissed them away gently. "I need you, Shawn. I am so relieved you came here last night- you have no idea how relieved."

"Not as much as I am," Shawn whispered. He took her lips again and caressed her side.

Angela reached her hands up to Shawn's face and cradled it in her hands as she kissed him. Slowly, she ran her fingers through his hair, and down his back. She pressed into him, and clung tightly, fearing that if she let go he would vanish.

Their tears were gone now, and the pain began to blur as their kisses became more intense. Thankful for the arms of the other, Shawn and Angela melted into each other, enjoying the touches, kisses, and closeness they shared.

Their affectionate moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by Topanga entering the room. They startled slightly, but seeing it was just Topanga they relaxed again. 

"Sleep well?" Topanga asked, grinning. Angela and Shawn nodded; Shawn pulled the covers up higher, slightly surprised at Topanga for coming in. Well, after all it was her room, he thought.

Topanga plopped herself on the bed next to Shawn, and with her brow furrowed asked, "Shawn, are you ok?"

"I am now," Shawn replied smiling, "I will always be okay now." He embraced Angela and kissed her again, completely unashamed at being caught in bed with her. Shawn wanted the world to know that Angela was his.

"Well then, I see you two are busy so I will get my things and go." Topanga smiled and sighed, "We were so worried about you last night, Shawn. Cory was beside himself. I only interrupted this morning because I had to see that you were okay. Well, and I had to get my things." She giggled.

"I'm taking care of him," Angela said with a grin, "and I'm not letting him out of my sight." Her eyes never left Shawn's as she spoke.

"Told ya' I'd be ok." Shawn told Topanga with a grin of his own.

Topanga laughed and squeezed Shawn's shoulder before rising to gather her books and items for the shower.

As she reached for the door knob, Topanga turned and grinned back at them, "You guys did Cory a favor too, you know. He was rather happy that I had to stay in his room." 

Angela and Shawn raised their brows at Topanga as she left the room. 

~~~~~~~

Turning back to each other, Shawn grasped Angela tightly in his arms, happy to be alone with her. He would never let her go again. "I love you, Angela Moore," he whispered.

"And I love you, Shawn Hunter," Angela replied, placing her lips to Shawn's in a kiss that could last him a lifetime. 

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~The end of my narration, but only the beginning for Shawn and Angela. May they have many happy fictional years together~

Hope you enjoyed my little story. Please leave a review, you'll make my day! 

: ) 

Peace,

Shawna

Aka

Cre8tvWrtr


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